If a new video game involves a car, recent precedent states that somebody better die. If gamers can’t shoot innocent victims with a flame thrower, they at least expect to kick them in the groin. Repeatedly.

If Destruction Derby were more like this, maybe it would be worth playing. As it now stands, the game is little more than a knock-off of the semi-popular PlayStation One game, Demolition Derby. And it leaves a lot to be desired.

The objective of the game is to rack up as many points as possible by flipping, crunching and crashing an opponent’s car. That’s the fun part. But it gets boring after only a couple rounds.

In their pursuit of destructive mayhem, players can choose from such classy characters as Noire, a burly man whose get-up is, ironically, completely white. Other options include Makucha, who wears a tiger-striped jacket exposing 10 inches of her midriff, and Cadence, the fiery male redhead, whose purple and yellow car resembles Barney on 20-inch rims. Using these personas, players venture into a number of different modes with good old reckless abandon.

In the Championship mode, players race their cars on four different tracks. Points go not only to the winner, but also those who cause the most destruction. Think Mario Kart with a twist of mayhem.

Then, there’s Destruction Bowl Mode. This option captures all niches of a demolition derby. Players score points by exploding the other cars in the allotted time. It’s really mass chaos without the pesky racing. Because, honestly, the racing mode is just an excuse to hit people anyway.

With four online play modes and just three regular game modes, this game is worth buying for online players. For these gamers, there’s a Speedway Mode, a James Bond-esque Capture the Trophy, Pass Da Bomb and Last Man Standing modes. For players who don’t have the online extension, however, it’s not worth the money. The graphics are below average and cartoony, like Jet Moto, and the cars are unimaginative.

Granted, today’s youth has a short attention span, but games now require more than just high-grade fender benders. If a car game is going to succeed, the souped-up autos better have some machine guns strapped to the hood – and there better be blood.

Published on April 20, 2004 at 12:00 pm