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Ode to Mitch Hedberg

(ITALICS)I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.(ITALICS)

Between the media storm surrounding Terri Schiavo and Pope John Paul II lies Mitch Hedberg, 37.

Hedberg, a comedian whose career fluctuated between underground cult following and mainstream comic, died Wednesday in New Jersey, reportedly from a heart ailment, although the cause wasn’t immediately known.

I wasn’t a huge fan of Hedberg’s. I saw him on TV a few times and enjoyed his stuff. But sadly, the comedian probably had more of an impact on my life than John Paul II and Terri Schiavo combined.

The Pope took a more moderate approach to homosexuality, calling for acceptance, respect, compassion and sensitivity, although official Catholic doctrine still calls homosexuality a disorder.



And the media coverage of Terri Schiavo just gave me something to bitch about for three weeks.

But Hedberg inspired laughter. And so as I struggled to find coverage on Hedberg in the wake of the two other public passings, I wanted to dedicate some space to another person’s death, someone worthy of it in my eyes.

Here are a few of Hedberg’s lines, and just some notes on his life.

(ITALICS)I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch, do you like submarine sandwiches? All-encompassingly!(ITALICS)

Hedberg appeared frequently on Comedy Central’s Crank Yankers, Howard Stern’s radio show and The Late Show with David Letterman. He also played the Eagles’ road manager in Almost Famous.

(ITALICS)I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.(ITALICS)

Hedberg exemplified college life. On stage he usually performed in sunglasses, sandals and a T-shirt. Like Kurt Cobain, he wore his golden locks long and lived his life too short.

(ITALICS)My lucky number is four billion. That doesn’t come in real handy when you’re gambling. ‘Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice.'(ITALICS)

Hedberg never wrote bits, just delivered one-liners with a deadpanned stoner’s intonation, flowing without any semblance, segue or sense from one to another.

Hedberg had scheduled a set in Baltimore this past weekend, and was supposed to play Emory, Wyoming, Keene State, Gustavus (St. Peter, Minn.), Vermont and Brant College in the next month; further proof his brand of humor appealed to a younger crowd.

Around Syracuse, Hedberg’s death barely caused a ripple. Three random Minnesotan students interviewed hadn’t heard of him or his death. (Hedberg is a St. Paul, Minn., native.)

(ITALICS) This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.(ITALICS)

His life ended Wednesday. In death, he has continued to make me laugh.

Scott Lieber is a junior magazine major. E-mail him at smlieber@syr.edu.





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