It’s official. My mom and Uncle John do a better version of Meat Loaf’s ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’ than the Loaf himself. And my uncle usually forgets about two-thirds of the words.

The infamously campy singer dropped in on the Syracuse OnCenter last night to promote his latest album, ‘Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster is Loose.’ But from the minute he lurched onstage, it was clear the man of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ and ‘Fight Club’ lost his spring chicken status a long time ago.

After strumming the first few notes of ‘All Dressed Up and No Place To Go,’ Meat Loaf and Syracuse native Ashley Miller launched into the marathon anthem, ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’ – a jarring opener at more than nine minutes. The only logical explanation for the song’s position in the set is the fact that Meat Loaf probably wouldn’t have had enough breath to sing it by the time 9 o’clock rolled around.

In a disturbing turn of events, Meat Loaf proceeded to make out with Miller during the ‘baseball announcer’ portion of the song. Apparently this is common practice, though – video screens behind the couple replayed reenactments of the song from past concerts and makeouts. The Loaf loves the ladies.

Meat Loaf proceeded to huff and puff his way through classics like ‘You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth’ and ‘I Would Do Anything For Love,’ much to the audience’s delight. He also huffed and puffed his way through songs like ‘Blind As a Bat,’ off his latest album, much to the audience’s dismay. With more than 35 million copies sold worldwide, Meat Loaf should really stick to hits from the original ‘Bat Out of Hell.’ That way when he’s out of air, the audience can sub in for him.

The beginning of the show led me to believe Meat Loaf would be following a retrospective theme throughout the night. Both his band and backup ladies were clad in bright outfits trimmed with faux zebra, in a color scheme reminiscent of the late ’70s. The Loaf, however, does not do bright colors.

All pretense of a decade theme set up in the first few minutes was lost after the first song, as the set cycled through strange bat cartoons, scenes from Meat Loaf movies and giant windsocks of the band members that briefly sprung to life. These anomalies added life to the show, but didn’t do enough to distract from Meat Loaf’s wavering voice.

At least Meat Loaf knows what his audience likes. After lamenting about a newspaper article that named Whitney Houston – not him – as the original over-singer, he finished his main set with ‘2 Out of 3 Ain’t Bad’ and ‘Bat Out Of Hell.’ The lighter-to-cell-phone-in-the-air ratio at this point was probably about 3:67, as the audience leapt to its feet, delighted that songs they actually knew were being played.

In arguably the best stretch of the evening, the songs were punctuated by Meat Loaf wiping his brow with his signature red scarf. Clearly, it was time to call it a night.

Published on March 22, 2007 at 12:00 pm