I’ve already done enough talking about myself during my almost three semesters (yes, I once designed) at The Daily Orange. So let’s just get into discussing you fine folks:

Erinn: I know you were harassed in everyone’s ducks last fall for having a role thrust upon you of being my caretaker during my upcoming time as feature editor. But did you really help me out this semester? You’re darn tootin’ The amount of assistance you provided this semester – without stifling my own genius – is unfathomable, and I only can express it through the form of Wisconsin sports analogies. You were the Koren Robinson to my Brett Favre. You were the Earl ‘Curly’ Lambeau to my George Whitney Calhoun (I had to look that one up on Wikipedia, of course). You were the Bucky Badger to my Bernie Brewer. And I hope that all your time spent as my assistant, will benefit you somehow next semester. Namely – figuring out how to be Dockery’s caretaker.

Ethan: I appreciate you setting the foundation for everything I know as a reporter. (Remember I didn’t do any of that high school journalism bullshit.) I learned so many skills just by working with you…except for listening (but really is that so important as a journalist?). Now the last thing I ask from you is 10 years from now, I want you to tell me a story about a time you did something really, really stupid. Trust me, it’s cathartic. I think you should try something along the lines of repeatedly soiling your bed sheets or locking your keys in your car while they’re still in the ignition. I can’t ever imagine any journalist doing anything that moronic…

Andy: …oh hey.Andy McCullough, you’ll like this lead because it includes the names Julie Sullivan, Gary Smith and Joe Posnaski. Unfortunately, Andy you’ll never have the talisman talent to be as talisman good as any of them. On the other hand, if you ever enter a drunken bar fight between you, Sullivan, Smith and Posnaski – my money is on you. Every. Single. Time.

Sahar: 🙂 + *:)* = awesomeness. Wiiiiiiii!(<--Yes, Sahar, it had to just be weird)

Matt Gelb: Thanks for being a great managing editor this semester. I felt you were even better at that than you were as design editor the previous semester. Perhaps, you should give sports editor a shot next. From what sources have told me, you have the talent for that, too.

Dockery: Congratulations on making it to the top, stud. Now take a deep breath. 1…2…3. And try to relax. There’s nothing to worry about cause you’re already the smartest person at The D.O. And remember where you’re going this summer – the Middle East – booty season is always in session.

Amanda: Breaking news – you’ve been traded! In a blockbuster deal, the No. 1 draft pick from last year’s D.O. draft has been dealt for three first round selections, a third round pick, a 12-pack of Natty Light, 88 cents and a Chevy Geo Metro. Also, we picked up Dan Uggla in the Rule 5 draft. The experts all say it’s the worst trade in Feature history.

Zachs: Well, Schonbrun I’m off to the land of Kelenna Azubuike and Pops-Mensah Bonsuh. There I will be taught the national pastime of basketball and poor hygiene. The former will come in handy because we’ll be ballin’ every day during our final SU semester. Berman, thanks for all the great advice. I want to leave you with my own famous athlete quote to live by: Kareem Abdul-Jabaar once said, ‘LISTEN KID. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.’ Zach Braff: Remember when you were funny? Jackass.

John Clayton: I don’t think anybody could be anymore ready to take over as sports editor. Still, I want you to remember when editing gets you down: smack your stomach, shout ‘Let’s Go,’ and remember somewhere – somewhere out there Pat Burrell is watching over you.

Kyle Austin: I never really liked you. I found almost nothing you said funny. And frankly, your shoes are hideous.

Melissa: You crazy grrl!

Hannah: HOLA AMIGA! I KNOW YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT LIVING IN DETROIT THIS SUMMER. BUT DON’T FRET. NOTHING IN DETROIT CAN IMPAIR YOUR AWESOME DESIGN SKILLS – YES, THERE ARE MURDERERS, CRACKHOUSES, THE WNBA, RAP BATTLES AND MITCH ALBOM,. BUT I ASSURE YOU NOTHING…NOTHING IN DETROIT IS AS MISERABLE AS WATCHING THE LIONS PLAY FOOTBALL. And that doesn’t start until fall.

Lesley/Brian: Lesley, congratulations on surviving dating a bear. Tahmosh, congratulations on surviving dating Lesley. (…I’m just saying she’s a tough-ass boss.)

Wei: I know you’ll figure out that balance next semester between being a badass designer and all that other crazy sh** you do. Especially ’cause when I return in the spring, we’re having a drink off. Every. Single. Night.

Rob/Emily: One day I hope to illustrate Nancy Cantor as well as both of you. You guys rule.

A.J., Will, Lucas: Hey I’ll be seeing y’all in London. Yes I know I’m not as skilled of a partier (or photog) as all of you. But I’ll be living in Tulsa over the summer. There’s no better place to learn. Yee-haw!Friends outside D.O.: To all three of you. I’m only friends with you three – cuz you all got nice asses. Simply astonishing.

Heather, Jared, Tyler, Kelina and all the other former or current copy editors, who don’t deserver their own space simply because you’re copy editors: You’re all very talented. (Can you spot the copy error in the previous sentence? Give up…Jared wasn’t talented!) *flashes peace sign*

El fin.

Published on April 28, 2008 at 12:00 pm