As many of the world’s most prominent leaders ascend on Copenhagen in attempts to assemble policies and compile ideas in order to stop this apparent threat of imminent death from global warming and ‘save the world,’ perhaps we need to rethink the entire idea of ‘Hopenhagen.’

One would think that at a climate convention cars would be a rare commodity, after all many climate experts blame the automobile for the majority of green house gas emissions. Think again, a record of more than 1,200 limos and 140 jets are expected, more than the amount in the entire country of Denmark. Some limos are driving hundreds of miles away from Germany and Sweden. I would imagine that electric vehicles would be more popular, yet only five are expected. That’s nothing compared to the estimated nine million plus pounds of carbon dioxide equivalent expected to be produced over the 11 days of the summit, but who’s counting.

In recent weeks, hacked emails have surfaced debunking the idea of global warming being caused by humans due to exaggerated scientific data, among other things. The only thing that’s more sickening than the people who believed Al Gore through his environmental crusade is his less-than-inspiring poetry from his newest book, ‘Our Choice.’ My favorite line being, ‘One thin September soon, A floating continent disappears In midnight sun.’ I doubt Gore will reveal his newly found poetic tendencies to Copenhagen when he takes the stand; maybe Gore’s private jet is what should disappear in the midnight sun.

What better way to start a conference with claims to save the world than to show a video? Reports claim that the video depicts children of the future facing an apocalyptic landscape filled with endless deserts if world leaders ‘don’t act today.’ The head of the United Nations’ panel of climate scientists states ‘there will be hundreds of millions of refugees.’ The grave statements are just getting started. One Prime Minister said that the world is looking to Copenhagen to ‘safe guard humanity’ and ‘the world is depositing hope with (Copenhagen) for a short while in the history of humanity.’ I hope he remembers this when he returns to his hotel room, as all the top rooms in the area are booked for close to $1,000 a night, and dines on his fresh crab and caviar.

The mockery continues. President Obama’s measly pledge of a 17 percent cut over the next 10 years and greater reductions by mid-century is the same that was approved by the House last summer. Way to be proactive Mr. President.

However, the best part of the Copenhagen circus is the free prostitution. In response to a flyer telling delegates to ‘be sustainable, don’t buy sex,’ the local sex worker union in Denmark says all of its members will give free sex to any of the 1,400 delegates with a conference pass. At least when the delegates become stupefied at the conference, we know where to find them.

Evan J. ShermanJunior Environmental Policy major

Published on December 7, 2009 at 12:00 pm