With an opulent mansion, elaborate romantic getaways and stunning dresses, the ABC reality show “The Bachelor” makes falling in love look easy. But behind the scenes, it’s a completely different environment.

Ashley Iaconetti, 26, a Syracuse University alumna and New Jersey native, appeared on this season of “The Bachelor.” Iaconetti, known on the show as “Ashley I.” or “Kardashley” for her resemblance of Kim Kardashian, was vying for the love of Chris Soules, an Iowa native who’s been dubbed “Prince Farming.”

Despite lasting six weeks on the show’s 19th season, Iaconetti was eliminated during last Monday’s episode after a terrible two-on-one date with Kelsey Poe and Soules. She said the show taught her a lot about herself and that joining it was one of the best decisions she has ever made.

“I matured throughout the whole thing, being away on my own for an entire month,” Iaconetti said. “It was a lesson of independence.”

Iaconetti said she felt the process to apply to be on “The Bachelor” was grueling, but also felt her dating life was not leading to results, as she had never had a boyfriend.

Maura Gaudio, who became best friends with Iaconetti while they were in elementary school, said she pushed Iaconetti to audition for “The Bachelor.”

“We told Ashley she just had to apply. ‘This would be how you found love, on this crazy show,’” Gaudio said.

Similar to a job application process, “The Bachelor” website has an easily accessible section for casting applications — an application Gaudio quickly began filling out for Iaconetti.

Eventually, Iaconetti became more comfortable with the idea and decided to create an audition tape, filmed by her friend Jamie Hoskins.

“It was really cool. (Ashley) did a mock date — what her home date would’ve been like had ‘The Bachelor’ come to her hometown,” said Hoskins, who is also an SU alumna.

Iaconetti originally sent in a tape before Juan Pablo Galavis’ season, but never heard back until the end of last year. Once she was contacted, producers from the show invited Iaconetti to come to a casting call.

About one or two months later, a group of around 50 women were contacted and flown out to Los Angeles for an intense interviewing process. It included three days of in-depth, detailed questioning and psychological evaluations, Gaudio said.

Two weeks later, Iaconetti was notified she would be on the current season of “The Bachelor” and that filming would begin soon.

“Then you never get to talk to them. They take their phones on the first day,” Gaudio said. “Total silence.”

Gaudio said they had no idea what was happening during filming, and only knew when Iaconetti was eliminated because they used an app to track her location.

With Iaconetti eliminated, Gaudio was able to watch all the drama unfold next to her on the couch at home.

Gaudio doesn’t think the show portrayed Iaconetti well. She said watching the show when your best friend is a contestant is difficult, since unlike most of the millions of viewers, you know the real person behind the camera.

“I was irritated at times because they had twisted something that was going on. It is surreal — I don’t even associate the Ashley on TV with the real person,” Gaudio said.

Hoskins, who works as a television news producer herself, said watching a reality show featuring one of your best friends is a surreal experience.

“You have to understand that it is reality television, what you are viewing on TV is not always what it seems,” Hoskins said.

The drama on the show between the contestants also doesn’t show the full picture, since all the women spend so much time together off camera, Gaudio said.

Iaconetti echoed that sentiment, and said that she and most of the women on the show have a big group message and talk all the time.

“I feel like we may be the closest bunch yet,” Iaconetti said.

Hoskins said the first thing Iaconetti talked about upon returning home was how much fun she had, especially bonding with all of the other contestants. Iaconetti shared to Hoskins that even though it’s hard to imagine 30 women becoming so close when they are all going after the same bachelor, they supported each other and made great friendships.

However, not all of the episodes highlighted the good times, especially for Iaconetti, who was well known on the show for her crying. While her friends acknowledge Iaconetti is emotional, Gaudio said some of the tears on the show seemed to be a strong reaction that normally Iaconetti wouldn’t have.

“You only see two hours of what happened during an entire week,” Iaconetti said. “I am a very emotional person. Crying is something I do, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a great experience.”

In the end, true love was not in the cards for Iaconetti and Soules, which was not a total surprise to her friends.

“He would not be my pick for her,” Gaudio said. “I wouldn’t have ever let her move to Iowa, so if she was going to marry Chris, he was moving.”

Gaudio said she doubted Iaconetti would enjoy life in rural Iowa, which is not the bustling lifestyle the New Jersey native is used to. But Iaconetti says otherwise.

“I would move to Arlington (Iowa) if he were the one,” she said.

While Iaconetti is definitely not moving to Iowa now, her friends and family were supportive and happy with her journey on “The Bachelor.”

In terms of love, Iaconetti said the show allowed her to be more upfront about her emotions than ever before, which is important since so much of today’s hook-up culture centers upon physical aspects — not the emotional.

Said Iaconetti: “It was the best experience of my life — so much more laughter than tears.”

Published on February 16, 2015 at 12:01 am

Contact Jen: jbundy@syr.edu