Jennifer Freedman needs no reminder to do things like religiously tape ‘The O.C.’ and ‘One Tree Hill,’ but can’t for the life of her remember to call her grandmother.

The senior advertising major would go months without giving her matriarch a call, even just to catch up on life and talk about basic things like friends, other relatives, schoolwork and job hunting. Freedman always felt bad about forgetting, but couldn’t seem to break the cycle. It wasn’t as if her lack of calls were from any negative feelings towards her family, just that it wasn’t top priority to give her grandmother a ring.

‘She would always give me grief for not talking to her on the phone,’ Freedman said. ‘I told her that I talk to people mostly online, so that it would easier for her to talk to me there. So her and my grandfather got instant messaging so they could finally talk to me.’

Freedman is part of a slowly growing population of students at Syracuse University who are finding it much easier to keep in contact with their family through online messaging services like AOL Instant Messenger. With the busy college schedules and constant multitasking students are accustomed to, the act of actually picking up the phone and devoting full concentration to one person seems to be a dying cause.

‘It’s kind of pointless to use the phone when you could do other things when you’re on the computer too, whereas if you’re on the phone your full attention is devoted to whoever you are talking to,’ said Ashley Kosciolek, a sophomore advertising major. ‘But I guess that could be a bad thing too.’

Many feel the ability to let parents know they are alive and doing well without being forced to drag on a conversation is the best way to keep in touch. Chris Rahner, a sophomore television, radio and film and marketing major, loves the capability to talk to his parents about what he’s been up to without ever leaving what he’s doing on the computer.

‘I feel bad calling on a phone if he’s busy, so when I see him come on AIM, then I don’t feel so bad talking to him,’ said Janice Rahner, Chris’ mother. ‘And even if I don’t talk to him, Chris puts up away messages on IM telling what he does in the day, so I know what’s going on without being a pain the neck. It makes me feel good seeing it and knowing that he’s OK.’

While the most popular way of long distance communication is still the telephone, text-based messaging systems are becoming more and more popular. Through a multitude of different messaging services which can be downloaded for free onto a computer, written conversations seem to be the wave of the future. This type of service allows for someone to have multiple conversations at once. Such dialogues held over extremely long distances would cost money if done through any other medium. They also make the process of conversing a lot more convenient. A student could theoretically do his or her homework while holding conversations with every family member simultaneously.

Yet for every advantage which comes from talking online, there is something equally as frustrating. Text conversations make it hard to express emotion, and when talking to someone close, like family, passion is often desired. Text is also easily saved and recorded. While voice is ephemeral, it’s spoken and then it’s gone, text messages are much more permanent, said Randy Wenner, an adjunct information technology teacher and a broadcast journalism professor.

‘While typing on a keyboard, you should say what you mean and mean what you say because it could come back to haunt you,’ Wenner said.

Through the use of online messaging services, parents are given more insight into their child’s life, which they may have never had before, and it can easily become an issue. Parents can view profiles and away messages that quite often contain candid and inappropriate messages. They also, through the service, have a new way of keeping tabs on their child and learning what is really going on in their life.

‘My mom talks to some of my friends from school,’ said Andrea Rommel, a freshman music education major. ‘Sometimes they tell me stories about the crazy things she says, which can be very odd.’

Many parents don’t actually have the time or effort to actually learn the techniques needed to use messenger services properly. To start using a message service, a person needs to be somewhat computer savvy. Then, to feel like one is good at it, it’s necessary to actually spend time practicing online communication. And for someone to really know what to do on an online messaging service, intensive training in the style of instant messaging is required. Parents need to be able to talk the talk, like learning the right use of net-lingo and netiquette, and it’s an effort which they might not be willing to put in, Wenner said.

‘My father talks like a 13-year-old girl, using the ‘soooooo’ and all that crap; I don’t enjoy talking to him online at all,’ said Lisa Brescia, a freshman advertising major. ‘My mom types for a living so she types badly, but at least it’s fast. My dad is just useless.’

Due to the fact that messaging does require practice to effectively use, and the lack of personalization which comes from talking online, many parents stick with the old-fashioned and familiar mode of the telephone to correspond with their college-stationed offspring.

‘My parents don’t like the program,’ said Jennifer Pontier, an undecided freshman in The College of Arts and Sciences. ‘I think with parents it’s just better top use the phone; it’s more personal. With instant messenger, it’s hard to get your point across sometimes with words, because there’s no reflection with the way you say things. They’re your parents; you’re supposed to be expressive with them.’

Published on April 1, 2005 at 12:00 pm