On Saturday, “iCarly” star Jennette McCurdy came to Syracuse University to discuss her book, “I’m Glad My Mom Died”. She spoke to students in hopes that shedding reality on her abuse, eating disorders, mental health and journey to self discovery would be able to help others in their struggles.

The in-depth conversation between McCurdy and the event’s host, SU sophomore Naimah Rahman, was nothing short of emotional. The intimate questions broke down a barrier between the audience and McCurdy that allowed them to see the real her, rather than the facade of stardom we grew up with. McCurdy’s conversation extended past Rahman and infiltrated the audience. At many times, she spoke directly to the crowd to check in with them. The conversation sparked an important message that SU students needed to hear.

McCurdy was able to address issues that are often too hard to speak about in public, but her openness to address these issues allowed the students to see that their struggles are relatable and there are ways to heal. SU, in the future, needs to get more speakers like McCurdy.

“The years of 18 to 22 were the worst years of my life. How are you guys doing?” McCurdy said to the audience.

Although McCurdy’s book title has a dark comedic undertone that some do not understand, it was important for her to lighten the material. “I think humor makes things more entertaining,” she said.

Her book dives into the different time periods of her life. She goes into depth about the abuse she experienced with her mother, her anorexia and bulimia and discovering her self-identity after her mothers death.

“It was important to write from the point of view that I was in. I wanted to keep it genuine to the age I was at. I grew up in an abusive environment. I think it’s humorous that kids don’t know they may be growing up in an abusive environment,” McCurdy said.

Throughout the conversation, McCurdy continued to address the audience to try to get students to connect with her experiences. Although she had unique experiences as a child, such as appearing on a hit TV show, she is a strong advocate for mental health and was adamant about resonating with the audience.

“I hoped that the emotions could make it more relatable for people. Everyone knows what self loathing, anger and sadness feels like,” McCurdy said.

McCurdy painted a clear picture that trying to live for someone who is abusive puts you on the wrong path. At a young age, with a naive sense of reality, your abusive reality is normal. This is a dangerous cycle. At the age of 11, her mother started counting McCurdy’s calories, which she said sparked her eating disorders. Her eating disorders were so bad that she was often on the floor, dehydrated from throwing up. McCurdy thought the dramatic and vicious words from her mother were part of a normal environment to be raised in.

“I thought that everyone must be like this. When I was an adult I realized that people are not like this,” McCurdy said about her mother.

Following her mother’s death, McCurdy sought help from a therapist. Through this, she was able to build boundaries, which her mother saw as betrayal. Any hint of opposition would draw an outrageous reaction from her mother. McCurdy explained she eventually learned that boundaries don’t mean you don’t love someone. A lot of people think boundaries negatively impact intimacy, but they actually cultivate it.

This aspect of creating boundaries is critical for college students to understand because these early stages of adulthood can be overwhelming with forming relationships. SU students should listen to McCurdy’s advice. If students are going through, or have been through difficult situations, it’s important to get expert help. Although it is hard to get help and say no, students must break ties with what’s holding them down. Only then can they fully make the first steps into recovery.

McCurdy lives by this statement and explains it applies to a lot of circumstances and will help you to build the boundaries you need to protect yourself. If McCurdy would have had this mentality, it could have saved her years of pain. It is better to say no sooner than later, she explained.

McCurdy’s discussion of her book and life was deeply intimate and the students of SU needed to hear it. Family trauma, eating disorders and self identity are things many people struggle with, but little people talk about. SU needs more speakers that are outspoken about critical issues like these so students can relate.

Sophia Leone is a sophomore broadcast, digital journalism major with a minor in political science. Her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at seleone@g.syr.edu.

Published on November 13, 2022 at 10:50 pm