Along the winding road of college dating – a social quagmire complete with fruitless hook-ups, lusty stalkers and oblivious pursuits – it’s dangerous to walk alone.

Yet as countless singletons throw up their hands in exasperation, disgusted and frustrated by failed prospects, others place their hopes in a more promising medium – virtual dating.

And at the click of a mouse, students may be rescued from the perils of love limbo by the cyber mate of their dreams.

‘I’ve met two guys online in the last two months,’ said Bethany Stoliar, a sophomore special education major. ‘It’s the same thing as hooking up with someone at a party, and it’s a smart alternative if you’re not meeting anyone.’

A somewhat less traditional but increasingly popular form of courting, college students across the globe are taking advantage of the services offered by mainstream matchmakers. While the benefits of online dating range from cost-effectiveness to maximized compatibility, the cost of Internet exposure deters a large pool of potential participants.

As site users rely on their love compasses to navigate websites such as Yahoo Personals, americansingles.com and eharmony.com, they are motivated by the desire to find a special someone on the other side of the computer screen.

‘I was really frustrated with the guys here at Syracuse,’ Stoliar said. ‘I am a good person and I have a good personality … I thought it would be a good secondary source for finding men.’

In her quest for romance, Stoliar began by filling out free personal profiles and sending ‘winks’ to people she found compatible with her own interests. After conversing with a favorite pursuit, the relationship often escalates to exchanging screen names and phone numbers.

‘I’m always careful about the information I provide,’ Stoliar said. ‘I’d never do anything I’m scared about.’ Her greatest fear lies not in disclosing personal data, but the awkwardness of finally meeting a perspective devotee, she added.

Jessica Whitlock, a sophomore pre-med major, does not personally use online dating services but cites the engine as the reason behind her 30-year-old cousin’s happiness.

‘A year ago she felt lonely after her divorce, so she started talking online to a guy from Michigan,’ Whitlock said. ‘Now they’ve moved to L.A. together and they’re engaged.’

Whitlock gives partial credit to online profiles for the winning element of their relationship: compatibility.

‘It’s like they’re the same exact person … their personalities complement each other so well,’ said Whitlock.

While many students are satisfied with the success of online dating, others are turned off by the lack of security and potential damage to personal integrity. Angela Allen, a senior music industry major, learned about the dangers of online dating through the mistakes of her older brother.

According to Allen, after her brother had virtually dated a total of 30 girls over a three-year period at the University of Richmond, one admirer became deceitful and stole some of her brother’s money.

‘It just goes to show that you can’t trust the people you meet online,’ Allen said. ‘I don’t want strangers looking at my pictures and information any time they want.’

Computing and Media Services advises that the best policy for safeguarding one’s privacy is to gauge an online service’s reputability and to read all protection agreements.

‘It’s really a judgment call,’ said Steve Leonard, a security expert at CMS. ‘You should be aware that there are plenty of pay services online that people can use to track someone down.’

Students are often uncomfortable with the concept behind online dating, interpreting dating services as Internet profiling and a quiet act of desperation.

‘It’s kind of pathetic,’ said Yasmin Vahdatpour, a junior graphics major. ‘I hope I never get to the point where I have to use it…it’s kind of creepy.’

Other students are skeptical about the overall effectiveness of online personals.

‘It’s a farce,’ said Aditya Kekatpure, a sophomore computer science major. ‘You can’t know a person well enough through a profile. If you don’t meet them face to face, you shouldn’t ask them on a date.’

Despite opposition to the dating services, those who have used the sites with much success argue that the sites hold several redeeming social qualities. Also, personal security is not a problem if one knows how to limit the personal data revealed.

The perk of personal profiles is that students are able to flirt with others with complete knowledge of whether or not they are single, says Rachel Markowitz, a junior English major at Oberlin College. She also says that restricting personal information to a photo and personality descriptions is key to maintaining safety.

‘I definitely have to see a photo of the other person, but including an address or a phone number is obviously stupid,’ Markowitz said. ‘Profiles can definitely help compatibility, but only if people are telling the truth.’

Since Markowitz began using the dating sites of nerve.com and myspace.com, she has established contacts with six different men – both at home and at college. Because she takes great pains to learn about her prospective mates before meeting them in person, she refutes the argument that online suitors are shady.

‘What’s funny is the last guy I met was through real life, and he turned out to be much sketchier than most of the guys I meet online,’ Markowitz said.

Even after a string of bittersweet online rendezvous with men ranging from personal trainers to urban yuppies, Markowitz plans to continue her online search and recommends the social outlet to anyone.

‘I’d say give it a try, because you have nothing to lose, and you might meet some great people you otherwise would not have met,’ Markowitz said, ‘even if you just become friends.’

Published on February 9, 2005 at 12:00 pm