Seven years ago, Patricia Szul, an undeclared sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences, began what she considers the hardest fight of her life.

It started when Szul’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. As her mom became sicker, Szul began feeling depressed. These negative feelings transformed into an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa. Szul now remembers those feelings with a lotus flower tattoo on her back.

“I was in such a bad place with my mom being sick, I was so sad,” Szul said. “It gave me control over the situation.”

But even when her mom’s health improved, Szul’s condition worsened.

Szul said she refused to eat, and when she would try to eat, she would get sick.
At the end of her sophomore year in high school and throughout the summer, Szul was in and out of the hospital for about five months.

After struggling with anorexia for four years, Szul got a tattoo of a lotus flower on the upper center of her back. The flower represents beauty and resilience, two things her therapist stressed during her treatment.

She got the tattoo at the end of her senior year when she finished treatment and she was declared “cured” — although Szul recognizes that no one can be completely cured from an eating disorder.

“It’s a daily reminder that I went through that. I got through it,” Szul said. “I’ll never be fully cured, but I feel so much better about myself now.”

Szul considers her therapist one of her best friends — someone she can talk to about anything. She still speaks with her at least once a month.

“She really made me believe I was beautiful and helped me overcome a really hard time in my life,” Szul said.

Szul’s mom is now cancer-free and Szul promotes a healthy lifestyle. She offers a word of advice to girls and to anyone suffering from an eating disorder.

“Get help. Talk to people and be patient with yourself,” Szul said. “Don’t waste your life trying to be perfect. It’s not worth it.”

Published on September 16, 2014 at 12:01 am

Contact Gigi: gantonel@syr.edu